i know ive been a little moody these days. I dont know why all those thoughts seem to gush into my brain, leaving you a little stranded. These thoughts may not be new and i get irritated by them too. Somehow, im still finding ways to make them go away. Maybe im just too emotional and afraid due to my past experiences. Maybe im having these thoughts because im still tormented by what ive been through before..

Ive been through deceit which i mistakenly thought was love.
Ive been kept in the shadows when i thought i'd be living a dream.

I know you are trying your best to comfort me. And trust me, youre doing alot for me already. You want me to let it out on you, instead of keeping it inside. But sweetie, i cant bear to do that. I'd rather cry myself to sleep than to let your heart be broken by my words. We've got a unique relationship and its something ive never dreamt of having.

Everytime i look at our pictures, i feel more than fortunate to be with you. Sometimes i blame myself for the little problems we've got. If i didnt have those thoughts, i wouldnt be crying all the time and you wouldnt be worried for me. But then on the other hand, you've been a great soulmate. Youve been doing countless sacrificial things to make me happy and you wouldnt expect anything in return. A little touch from you say so much.

I feel so ashamed of these doubts that sometimes, i wouldnt dare to look at you. I wanna say "I Love You', looking right into your eyes. I wanna see you every day and not feel like pushing you away coz im afraid id go too deep. I wanna hold your hand so tightly without having the fear of letting go..

The stupid things im doing and thinking about when im loving you.. I hope these things dont make you walk the other direction..

Im sorry.
I dont know how to feel.. This is love, definitely!("Definitely", the word you always have to help me spell.. Lol :D) Youre doing so much for me.. I just cant help but feel a little useless.. :P Dont get me wrong, its great!! And i will not and NEVER take it forgranted. Im gonna give it all back to you when i can.. :D Youre such a wonderful person, giving and giving and not even thinking twice abt it..

The Esplanade has always been a place full of memories for me.. In my past and of course the present, with you.. It has always been a place of meditation, where soul meets soul.. With you, the Esplanade has not only been just a whole new experience, it has taught me to let go and release my inner self.. I can tell you anything, whether it's good or bad and no matter how complicated it is, youd just give me the solution. Wow.. I wonder how you do that.. :D

The past few weeks have been, like WOW! Haha.. So many things happened.. I hope whatever we did uplifted you in a way.. It's good to see that youve been "rejuvenated", (LOL) and i hope it brings our love to another level.. :D

Spinelli at Raffles City is getting busier nowadays, although its still a little inconsistent. Work is still fun though, unlike how it used to be at China Square.. Im able to display all of my character here - Be it being bored, hyper, lame or dopey, and i dont get mocked or criticised. Ive made many new frenz who are far more exciting and easier to click with. :) Whoopiiee! I guess its a blessing in disguise after all! I freaking hate opening!! Im not really a morning person and doing the opening shift makes me all dopey and blur.. Gawd!
I still make occasional trips down to China Square to visit my ex colleagues and of course, to use my Spin Bucks! Man.. talking abt Spin Bucks.. Spinelli is really stingy abt giving them out to part timers.. It's only fair that we get out usual 20 dollars Spin voucher rather than the 10 dollars that we're getting.. Dont understand why the company has to be so freaking stingy.. The CEO owns Peninsula Hotel for goodness sake! He's a rich bastard.. Probably has several different families he returns home to every day.. One in a 12-room mansion in 6th Avenue, and another in a 3 story penthouse in Four seasons park perhaps.. Blah! Just give me my 20 dollar Spin Bucks already!! GrRrr..

Ok well, you do not like me when im angry.. But for now, im okay! *Smiles sweetly* =D Gonna go get my new glasses tml.. Can hardly see with my current one that ive been using since secondary 2.. Hope i choose the right one.. Dont wanna end up looking geeky in black rimmed spectacles.. wAHHAhaha! Ok, its late and im keeping my prince (He calls me princess, so.. He's my PRINCE! :D) waiting for me online.. Heh.. Nitey peeps!! *Snorex*

i know ive been a little moody these days. I dont know why all those thoughts seem to gush into my brain, leaving you a little stranded. These thoughts may not be new and i get irritated by them too. Somehow, im still finding ways to make them go away. Maybe im just too emotional and afraid due to my past experiences. Maybe im having these thoughts because im still tormented by what ive been through before..

Ive been through deceit which i mistakenly thought was love.
Ive been kept in the shadows when i thought i'd be living a dream.

I know you are trying your best to comfort me. And trust me, youre doing alot for me already. You want me to let it out on you, instead of keeping it inside. But sweetie, i cant bear to do that. I'd rather cry myself to sleep than to let your heart be broken by my words. We've got a unique relationship and its something ive never dreamt of having.

Everytime i look at our pictures, i feel more than fortunate to be with you. Sometimes i blame myself for the little problems we've got. If i didnt have those thoughts, i wouldnt be crying all the time and you wouldnt be worried for me. But then on the other hand, you've been a great soulmate. Youve been doing countless sacrificial things to make me happy and you wouldnt expect anything in return. A little touch from you say so much.

I feel so ashamed of these doubts that sometimes, i wouldnt dare to look at you. I wanna say "I Love You', looking right into your eyes. I wanna see you every day and not feel like pushing you away coz im afraid id go too deep. I wanna hold your hand so tightly without having the fear of letting go..

The stupid things im doing and thinking about when im loving you.. I hope these things dont make you walk the other direction..

Im sorry.